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When you lose your childhood stars

You almost think that the stars you grew up watching don’t age.
For you, they have been immortalised as that character, at that age, within that context.
Forever.
Until the day you realise that the character was immortal.
But they weren’t.

The first year as a student in the US was tough.
New country, new culture, first time outside of home, completely on my own.
And no friends.

Until my roommate (we never really got along) introduced me to F. R. I. E. N. D. S.
I was hooked.
From never having heard of it in India, the series became a weirdly integral part of my life.
I would come back home to watch the old episodes (had 8 seasons to cover and a current season 9 to catch up on) and binge on them for hours.

This is 2002.
Downloading episodes was the only way I could ‘afford’ them.
And I would then burn CDs to store them.

In my first year, I watched every episode of every season several times.
Resonating most with Chandler’s dry sarcastic humour and Monica’s catalogued approach to life, while secretly wishing I would be the no-f-given Phoebe.

In my second year, I moved out and got a new roommate.
My life changed.
Sameer was fun, kind, helpful, smart.
And he loved FRIENDS too.

We bonded beautifully.
And the bond would blossom every Thursday, which is when a new episode of FRIENDS would air.
Our routine was buying a frozen $1.99 cheese pizza from the supermarket, sautéeing onion and capsicum as toppings, and have it with orange juice concentrate mixed with water.
Sameer was responsible for the juice.
The pizza was my thing.

It was the last season of FRIENDS.
Much like the world then, we were hoping Rachel and Ross would end up together, and that none of them would ever leave New York City.

It was also the year I decided to drop out of my program and go back to India.
As I was mentally preparing to leave the US, it was becoming evident that our fictional friends were also moving on.

March 29, 2004 was when I took my one-way flight back to India.
As I sat at the Lansing airport waiting for my flight, listening to my playlist on shuffle, one of my favourite songs from the time begins to play.
“I’ll be there for you” by the Rembrandts.
I broke down.

I was saying goodbye to a life altering time in the US, starting all over again, unsure of the future.
I was saying goodbye to a dear friend.
And I was saying goodbye to FRIENDS with Sameer.

“Am I actually feeling bad about a television series, for god sake?”
“A fictional series?”
A series that had no less served as a companion when I had none, and acted as the catalyst for a friendship I cherished.

I could never get myself to watch the final episode of FRIENDS that aired in May 2004.
I haven’t seen it till date.
It’s stupid, I know.

This week, when I woke up to the news of Matthew Perry’s death, I was transported to 20 years back; when I started a friendship with FRIENDS at a time when I had no one to call a friend.
That series gave me company, gave me hope, and gave me solace.
It gave me Sameer’s friendship for life.

But what it gave me the most was the best friendship ever.
The one I built with myself.
When I had no one, except myself, for company.
While watching FRIENDS.
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📕 Book I'm reading this week

Still reading The Journey Home by Radhanath Swami.

The autobiography of Richard Slavin who goes on to become Radhanath Swami.
Mesmerizing life!
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​Here is a list of all the books I have shared in this email, so far (alphabetically sorted)

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Results of last week's survey

How many hours, on average, do you spend doing household work, every day?
This includes kitchen work, getting the house in order, buying vegetables/groceries, answering the door etc.

Here are the results:

1. With age, the number of hours spent on house-work increases for both genders. From an average of 2.2hrs (below 18) to 4.5hrs (above 40).
2. Women, on an average, spend 33% more time on house-work than men. The biggest difference is below 18 (twice as much time) and lowest is above 40 (28% higher).

My response:​
I spend no more than an hour everyday in housework. I asked Ruchi and she says 2-3 hours everyday. We have a fair bit of help, which we are grateful for.

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Quotes to share

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Those who are comfortable appearing foolish in front of others in order to learn, are the wise ones.

Share on X

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The only way to deal with an unfree world is to become so absolutely free that your very existence is an act of rebellion.
- Camus

Share on X

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For some people it is their responsibilities that keep them going. For some it is their dreams!

Share on X

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📸 My week, in pictures

In this section, I share my week in pictures, for those who do not like to read as much as I write :))
I do so not to show how cool a life I live, but instead to show you what are the highlights of every day. As you will see over time, my days are mostly in repeat mode - the same things, but different experiences from them.

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Celebrated our 16th wedding anniversary last week :)

Uzma clicked my pic, asked me how to draw on a pic, and then showed me this. I think every kid enjoys drawing beards on clean-faces, men/women irrespective, haha.

Hosted our annual Diwali card party last week - always so much fun :))

Vidur had a book club presentation on the book 'Animal Farm'. Both the kids go to this library which is one of the best investments we have made in their learning. The library is called OneUp (in Delhi) and it's only for kids.

Uzma and I made this paper bag :))

One of my favourite pages from a book, ever! :))

That's it for the week in pictures. Have a lovely weekend and week ahead, all of you lovelies :)))

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Question of the week​
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Do you own a credit card?

• Yes, and I use it frequently
• Yes, but I use it rarely
• No, but I want to own one
• No, and I have no plans of owning one

Answer here

(and see the results of others, too)

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🎙️ Podcast I shared last week

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🚀 Content I shared this week

📹 YouTube:​

​How to invest in Rs. 10,000 salary​

📱 Instagram:​

​Be grateful for your parents​

🐥 X:

​How FRIENDS helped me become my own best friend​

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You can, of course, always write to me by simply replying to this newsletter.

I love reading all your emails, even though I may not be able to reply to them all.
Yes! I READ ALL MY EMAILS. ALL OF THEM.​
​(Dilli mein iss samay har saal sardi zukaam ki kasam)

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