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You defeated yourself

Disclaimer: This post will be triggering for those with a mental medical condition, in which case I would request you to not go through it. ​
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I received an email yesterday:​
I’m a 20-year-old girl, and I’d really appreciate some suggestions from you. ​
I used to be a good student until class 9, but everything changed after I confessed my feelings to my crush and got rejected. ​
He insulted me brutally, and since then, I’ve been struggling with deep insecurity and a lack of motivation. ​
I feel stuck and lost.
I can’t focus on my studies, and nothing really interests me anymore. ​
I used to be very extroverted, but after that experience, I became extremely introverted.
Even my school friends are surprised at how much I’ve changed. ​
It’s been like this for the past four years.
I even tried therapy, but it didn’t help much.
I genuinely don’t know what to do.
Can you help me overcome procrastination and this constant fear of being judged?

I asked her if she was ready to hear the truth, even though it might not be pretty. ​
Go ahead, I'm ready to hear it. I appreciate your honesty.

Here was my exact reply:​
I’m going to be brutally honest with you because that’s what you need right now.
You’ve used that one rejection as a lifelong excuse to not show up for yourself.
For four years, you’ve told yourself a story where you’re the victim; and while that might feel safe, it’s also what’s keeping you stuck.
Because it’s much easier to say, “I was insulted, I lost my confidence, I became insecure” than to do the hard work of rebuilding.

However, here’s the truth:
The longer you cling to that pain, the more power you give to someone who never deserved it in the first place. ​
You haven’t been defeated by that boy.
You’ve been defeated by your own unwillingness to act.

You already know what you need to do, but you’re waiting for motivation to magically show up.
You feel someone like me knows something that you don't.
But motivation won't just show up and fix things.
It won’t.
Discipline will.
Effort will.
The moment you stop identifying with your past and start showing up for your future, everything changes.

I get a feeling you’re not ready to work on yourself. ​
But if you are, then start now. ​
Not next week.
Not tomorrow.
​Now.
​(Share on X)​

Book I read this week

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Started and finished Manish Vij's autobiography, "Brick by brick".
I have known Manish for nearly 15 years now — and as a distant observer, his life has been an amazing example of truly building (brick by brick) a success story that's enviable. I quite enjoyed reading the book, filled with familiar names and some familiar stories as well. Also, a very easy and fun read.

Pick it up to know what middle class ambitions matched with hard work can accomplish.
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I have shared several books in this newsletter over the years.
​A list of all of them can be found here.

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Build An Epic Career - a beautiful review!

Received this review on LinkedIn this morning, and it filled my heart with joy.

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The book is right now on a 45% off - in English, in Hindi​

Question of the week

If given a chance, would you want to live outside of India permanently?

• Yes
• Maybe - only for a few years
• No

(and see the results of others, too)

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Results of last week's question

Male Respondents

Female Respondents

Super interesting.
Young women do not seem to want any kids or, at best, one kid. By the time they reach their 40s, they do seem to want kids.
Men, on the other hand, definitely want two kids when young. However, by the time they reach 30s and beyond, they seem happy with just one kid.
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​My response?​
I always thought one kid was enough. And then we had Uzma, and I am so glad we have two :))

3-2-1
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3 pics from last week

Had a gorgeous Burmese tiffin lunch at Burma Burma, as part of their new year festival.

Met with Anabelle and Elaine for dinner. Both of them are ghostwriters for my last 2 books: Make Epic Money and Build An Epic Career. Elaine and I went to ISB together, and Anabelle (her sister) and I worked together at nearbuy.

Uzma made this as part of her clay modelling class :))

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2 quotes I wish to share

Knowing the truth and believing the truth are two very different things.

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In our early years of earning, the two best uses of money are
- Spending to skill yourself
- Spending on your parents

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1 new thing I learnt this week

When you learn a skill, your brain reallocates neurons to that skill.
When you stop using that skill (for extended periods of time), your brain doesn't waste those neurons.
It reallocates them to something else.
Which is why blind people often hear better, because the neurons typically used for sight are used for hearing.
It's called neuroplasticity.

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🎙️ My top content from last week
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📹 YouTube:​ Escaping the middle class​

📱 Instagram: Confidence​

🐥 Twitter: My current choices​

🎧 Podcast: I am bored​
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You can, of course, always write to me by simply replying to this newsletter.

I love reading all your emails, even though I may not be able to reply to them all.
Yes! I READ ALL MY EMAILS. ALL OF THEM.​
​(Sona ek lakh rupay ho jaane ki kasam)

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