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Why do you want to prolong this pain?

I got an email yesterday:
Arranged marriage in 2023.
Everything happened quickly.
Ignored a few red flags, thinking that things would be fine after marriage.
Soon after the marriage, every day was a living hell.
No respect.
Asked to transfer full salary to mother-in-law.
Now, getting divorced. ​
I am just not able to deal with this divorce. Wherever I am, my mind keeps going back to him. My mind always keeps thinking about what he must be doing.

I asked her: ​
Do you want me to listen to you without judgement? ​
Or do you want my advice on what you should do?

I'll go for the 2nd option, she replied.

Here is what I told her: ​
Your husband hurt you once. ​
You are hurting yourself multiple times over and over.

What happened is unfortunate. It is clearly not desirable. You suffered. ​
Why do you want to prolong the suffering? ​
Here is why (and this will hurt and sound harsh, but is my truth) ​
Because it makes you feel like the victim. ​
It legitimizes your pain. ​
It allows you to wallow in your misery and tell yourself, "I suffered, so I am valid to feel this pain."

You have a wonderful life in front of you, <her name>. ​
You can wipe your tears, heal from the pain, and move on. ​
Or you can continue to suffer every single day, thinking and ruminating about the past.

The choice is for you to make. ​
But you can't make the choice until you truly understand that your current pain is your choice. ​
It is not imposed on you. ​
What happened to you was real. What you are making yourself go through is self-inflicted.

YOU MAKE THE CHOICE TO BE IN PAIN TODAY. ​
And until you choose not to be in this pain, you will never gather the courage to move on.

Free Online Masterclass on Career

On Jan 5, 2025 (Sunday) at 6:30 pm, I am hosting a free online masterclass on careers.
The masterclass is designed specifically for students and young working professionals and will cover:

1. How do you decide which career to choose?
2. How to change your career?
3. How to make critical career decisions?
4. What frequent mistakes do people make in their careers?
5. The most important career skill in this rapidly changing world

​Click here to register for the free masterclass​

Book I am reading this week

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Currently reading Lifespan: Why We Age – and Why We Don’t Have To by David Sinclair. While the book is technical in parts, it is mostly shocking, intriguing and frankly, unbelievable. Dr. David truly believes that ageing is not a mandatory phenomenon and there are ways to stop it, delay it, and perhaps even reverse it.

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My 3rd book, Make Epic Money, has sold 1,35,000+ copies in India with a 4.4+ rating. You can buy it in Hindi, English, Marathi, Audio, and Kindle here.
The book has also been converted into a video course (in Hindi and English) - that you can check out here.

My 4th book, Build An Epic Career, will be launching on Jan 20th 2025 and I am conducting a free online masterclass on career on Jan 5th at 6:30 pm 2025. You can register for the masterclass here.

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Here is an alphabetical list of all books I have shared in this newsletter so far.

Question of the week

Have you made some goals for 2025 as yet?

• Yes I have + made the plans as well
• Yes I have, but no plans as yet
• No I haven't as yet
• I don't set goals

(and see the results of others, too)

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Results of last week's question

Super interesting. While everyone uses text as the dominant form of communication on WhatsApp, observe the differences according to age.
Younger folks use memes/GIFs/images/voice a lot more. For them, it is a form of expression - a new language, if you will.
The older generation uses images/voice because for them, typing isn't as easy, or for some, not something they know how to.

In that respect, I love how inclusive WhatsApp as a product is.

​My response?​
Dominant mode is text, followed by voices, and then images.

3-2-1
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3 pics from last week

Went to an Arijit Singh concert last week. Bangalore weather, rain, and his songs. Aur kya chahiye :))

Was in Goa for the annual offsite of MindzVue - lovely bunch of high-energy kids!

Never in my wildest imagination did I think I would win a fitness award, hahaha :)

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2 quotes I wish to share

Interesting people do the boring.
And thus are never boring.

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Don’t play the victim to receive love.
What you will get is pity.
Not love.

1 new thing I learnt this week

India holds (as of Sep 2024) approx 510 tonnes of Gold in India (about 300 tonnes belonging to India is stored outside of India).
Within India, the gold is stored in high-security vaults of RBI in Mumbai and Nagpur.

The RBI treats information about these storage facilities as highly confidential to maintain the security of the nation's gold reserves. As such, photographs or detailed descriptions of these vaults are not made available to the public.

Imagine - 500 tonnes of gold. Insane!
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🎙️ My top content from last week
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📹 YouTube:​ 11 Money habits that will make you go bankrupt in 2025​

📱 Instagram: 3 Key life lessons​

🐥 Twitter: Advice for first-time parents​

🎧 Podcast: 13 life hacks​
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You can, of course, always write to me by simply replying to this newsletter.

I love reading all your emails, even though I may not be able to reply to them all.
Yes! I READ ALL MY EMAILS. ALL OF THEM.​
​(Sardiyon ki dhoop mein sone ki kasam)

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